Let’s discuss a fact that anyone who has watched a single season of 90 Day Fiancé can confirm. Many foreign women prefer living in their home country.
Even girls who are excited about moving to a Western Country like the US often find themselves wanting to return home.
This doesn’t mean your girl won’t enjoy life in your home country. And it doesn’t mean she won’t enjoy living with you.
But there are several reasons that consistently cause this to be true:
- Missing Family and Friends
- Loneliness
- Loss of Independence
- Your City Is Boring In Comparison
- Many Girls Have An Idealized View of the US
So let’s explore each of these in detail. Doing so will help you anticipate potential challenges if you plan on bringing you future bride back to your country.
Missing Family and Friends
Many people who relocate to another country do not anticipate how much they will their friends and family. This is true of both men and women.
And it tends to be even more difficult the stronger the social circle that is being left behind.
So you should definitely anticipate that your girl is going to miss her family and friends.
But a huge mistake guys make is trying to be her only source of companionship. That would get old for anyone, including you.
My suggestion is to introduce her to some of your couple-friends as quickly as possible. Hopefully she will make a new girlfriend that you already know and trust.
Another reason to introduce her to your social circle is to prevent bad influences. Do you want her going out and making friends with random girls from your hometown? (No this is not being controlling; it is being protective. You know your area and the social dynamics.)
Without question, having a social circle already in place that she can get to know is a proven strategy. This can help her get adjusted in the beginning when she will be missing her friends and family the most.
Loneliness In Your Country
This might sound like what we just discussed, but loneliness can manifest itself in many different ways.
For example, she might feel isolated if this is her first time feeling like an outsider. This is understandable if the case of a Filipina who has spent here entire life surrounded by other Filipinos.
Another thing that can increase feelings of loneliness is your physical location. If you live on a farm or rural piece of property, you probably selected it because it is private or you desire this lifestyle. So anticipate how this will be perceived by your girl.
The size of your social circle can also have a big impact on whether or not she feels lonely. If you have a great social circle and lots of close friends, this can really help. On the other hand, if your social circle is weak, this can cause her to feel even more lonely.
So by now it should be clear: your social circle is a very important part of making your future bride (or new wife) adjust to her new life in your country.
She Misses Her Independence
No, this section isn’t going to talk down to you about female independence.
But it is important to realize how drastic the change is when someone comes to the United States on a K1 Visa.
They cannot drive, they cannot work, and they cannot leave the country without running the risk of losing their visa. So this is a big loss of freedom for anyone.
And if you live in a suburban area with limited or no public transportation, it means you need a car to get everywhere. She will have to rely on you for awhile.
Unfortunately, there are no easy answers to dealing with this loss of independence.
If you live in a big city that will probably help. But anticipating this issue in advance and discussing it together is probably the most important thing you can do.
Your City Is Boring In Comparison
Most of your international travel plans involve small boring cities right?
Surely you aren’t flying to major capital cities like Prague, Bangkok, Manila, Tokyo, Bogotá, or Mexico City?
And I know you aren’t visiting cities that are a cheap flight or train ride away from the aforementioned cities…right?
Let’s be candid gentlemen: the vast majority of your time abroad is probably going to be spent in the biggest and best cities of the countries you visit. And for good reason: these cities have the largest dating pools and best infrastructure.
So you can start to see the problem. If you are from a much smaller town (or live in flyover country), your city is going to seem very boring compared to where you met her.
This is one of the many reasons I encourage men to consider reversing the move by relocating to her country. This is a great option if it’s a country you enjoy spending time in.
Of course, this generally requires you to have a remote working arrangement. Or even better: an online business that allows you to make money from anywhere in the world.
Many Girls Have An Idealized View of the US
Sex and the City, Friends, New York City, Los Angeles…this is the most common impression many foreign women have of the United States. Just ask them.
The girl you met probably hasn’t been dreaming of moving to a city that only has a handful of good restaurants and fun things to do.
She has likely grown up watching movies and TV shows that have given her a very narrow view of what life in the US is actually like.
And she probably has no idea how most low-income and middle-class Americans live. So if you are not in good financial shape, I highly recommend fixing this problem first.
That being said, the best thing you can do is show her pictures and videos of where you are from. Discuss the major ways life in the US will be different than what she is used to.
Have clear discussions about what she should expect and how you are going to help her adjust to these changes. Your goal is to minimize the culture-shock as much as possible.
Next Steps
I realize this article focused heavily on the United States. This was intentional so that I could provide specific examples that many couples run into time and time again.
But the same reasons that many foreign women prefer living in their home country will still hold true if you live in a different Western country like the UK, Australia or Canada.
Remember: it is important to discuss these issues while she is still in her country. That way she has time to consider these changes in advance and prepare.
Lastly, I am still of the opinion that most Western countries are on the decline. Which makes you moving abroad an option worthy of serious consideration.
Next, be sure to check out the other International Dating articles for more valuable tips.
